I am a big believer in speaking life into your world. So here are my most common "Mom Mantras" that help me not only survive motherhood, but thrive in motherhood.
"No for now, not forever"
When you first have kids, your freedom goes totally out the window. Suddenly you are at the beck and call of this tiny human and the list of things you can do, outside of parenting this little one, is pretty meager. But, as parenting evolves and the kids grow, I've found that we can regain little bits of freedom here and there. So, when my husband and I heard this quote from Speaker Andy Stanley, we grabbed hold of it. Hard. Whenever we want to do something and can't (a trip, a concert, whatever) we just tell ourselves, "No for now, not forever." One day we can take that trip or see that band, but right now it's OK to just let it go. There is tremendous freedom in just letting go.
"If it's not OK today, it will be tomorrow"
Whenever my kids are entering a new phase, the transition can be a little rocky. Whether it's learning to use the potty or sleep in a big kid bed, telling myself it's OK if it's not OK today helps me to get through the moment. If they can't hang tonight, chances are they will be more prepared and more able the next day. And if not that day, then the day after that. The point is, eventually it will be OK, so it's OK that it's not OK right now. Whatever struggle my boys are currently facing will only make them stronger and more resilient when they try it again next time. And this big picture view makes me more resilient too, which is pretty great.
"This, too, shall pass"
Reminding myself that every phase is only temporary does two things for me: one, it helps me get through the tough times, knowing that they will inevitably end, and two, it helps me savor the good moments, because those too will be gone in a blink of an eye. Every phase, every stage, is just temporary - and that's beautiful and wonderful, even if in the moment it's difficult.
"Even the bad moments can be good"
Potty training accidents are bad. Temper tantrums are bad. Or are they? It's all a matter of perspective. If I tell myself that even the bad moments are good, I train myself to see beauty in all moments. A temper tantrum used to terrify me. Now, I see it as a teaching moment and an opportunity to connect with my sons and help them connect with their emotions. When they're overtired or something triggers big emotions in them, I get to hold them and love them until it passes. Then, we get to talk about it, which always makes us feel more connected and more full of love. It's no different with potty accidents - I used to stress myself out trying to prevent accidents. But then I realized that he's actually learning through the accidents. If I allow the accidents and look at them as a good thing, he's able to learn and try. Then, when he gets it right, we both get to revel in his joy and pride at his own accomplishment. Looking at life this way makes it a lot more fun and way less stressful.
Let me know what Mom Mantras you use and how they help you thrive! Love you, sis.